As Valentine’s Day approaches I gaze into the chained heart of this painting and ask what's locked inside. Although superficially it serves as a reminder that loving without receiving love in return is painful, it doesn't explain why the heart is locked. Why can it not receive love? I sat listening without expectation and here is what I learned.
This heart holds aspects of the self that it's owner denies – parts they are ashamed to admit exist and that make them feel unworthy of love. For how can someone love them when they cannot love themselves? Now I understand that the “unrequited” aspect in the title refers, more deeply, to a longing to be connected with oneself. This painting suggests two keys can unlock this heart. The first is for its owner to recognize that these repressed aspects of self are features, not flaws. The second is the incorporation of practices that cultivate self-love.
This has nothing to do with the stuff you hide in your bedside table. Self-love practices are often simple. You can start with basic hygiene, healthy foods, and spending time with friends. When you're ready, try looking in a mirror, gazing into your own eyes and saying “I love you” with feeling. Yeah, I know its goofy, but its a legit neuro-psych hack and over time you'll believe and feel it. I'm still working on the practice of healthy boundaries which, for me, started with telling my inner critic to f**k off. There are many other simple, helpful practices you can try. You can even mix and match them to keep it fresh.
Remember that you hold the keys to the hidden treasures in your heart. Go see what's in there. You might just fall in love.